November 27, 2009

Written by: LFS.com

Warning: This post contains graphic language. Our mission at LFS.com is to celebrate food service professionals. This is not such a moment, and yet, no doubt, conversations, exchanges and tirades like the one published below are somewhat reflective of one aspect of our industry, given the  stresses exerted on those that work in food service. This is not a justification for this explicative laced memo, but perhaps, those inclined can read through the entire post, identify the neuroses, chuckle, and move on. 

Here is a memo to his employees at Paradou Restaurant in New York from owner Vadim Ponorovsky [Gawker]

"To All,

Please read this email carefully. This is the last time we will be discussing this.

This weekend, saturday and sunday we had 451 customers. Guess how many emails we collected? 60? 80? 40? No. None of those. We, or more acurately you, collected 2 emails. Thats less than half of one percent. 2 f**king emails.

WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES?!?!?! How many times do we have to tell you how important it is that you collect emails. Everytime we have a slow night and you make no money and you sit there bitching about how you make no money, remember its because youre f**king lazy motherf**kers. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY!!!!! ALL OF YOU, INCLUDING THE HOSTS!!!!

Let me guess, youre probably sitting there saying "Vadim is such a f**king asshole. How dare he speak to me like this. I dont need this." Youre right, you dont, so why dont you get the f**k out. Any and all of you.

Youre probably sitting there saying "How dare he speak to me like this. How dare he not have respect for me". Youre right there also. I have absolutely no respect for any of you. Why? Because every f**king day, all of you continue to show that you have absolutely no respect for me or Alex. So if you dont respect us enough to do the little that we ask you to do, then GET THE F**K OUT YOU F**KING LAZY DISRESPECTFUL ASSHOLES!!!!!

Effective immediately, any server or host who fails to collect at least 20 emails per week, will be fined $100. Anyone failing to collect at least 20 emails for two weeks in a month will be fired immediately. No matter what. No matter who you are.

You dont want to do your job, you dont want to do what we ask, you dont belong at Paradou. Go find another place to work.

How dare you disrespect Alex and me this way. How dare you completely ignore what we ask of you time after time after time.

I am sick of all this shit, you bunch of f**king children. This is what I have to deal with at 6AM?!?!? I wouldnt tolerate this from my 13 year old, and Im sure as shit not going to tolerate it from any of you assholes.

You give no respect, you get 10 times back."

No further comments necessary from us, but please feel free to chime in.